Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
