Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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