Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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