Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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