searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
