im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
