tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's rum buckets o'clock
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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