Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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