obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
