scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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