i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
