at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
