Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
