I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
