so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
