he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
