Your tits are I can't wait for
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
