Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
