dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
