I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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