Four minutes until I can fart!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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