Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.

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(260): View more from Indiana

you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you

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(541): View more from Oregon

he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.

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(907): View more from Alaska

On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce

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