Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
