its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
