Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize