the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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