he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
