There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
