i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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