I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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