wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
