I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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