Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!

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(815): View more from Illinois

If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.

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(419): View more from Ohio

its not a party unless mikie exposes himself

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER

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(904): View more from Florida

Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters

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