i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
