I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
