I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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