I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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