her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize