White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Never underestimate the power of titties
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
