The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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