I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
