my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
