i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
