is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
