too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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