He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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