do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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