Can i not drive my cunt home
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
