He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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