I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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