I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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